Post-Traumatic Stress vs. Post-Traumatic Growth
Note: These posts are intended to be for all people who need hope. If you’re not someone who believes in God, you can interchange the word “Universe” when I say “God” or “He.” I believe we are all being guided in this life; whether you believe that’s God or a different Spiritual Guide is entirely up to you. These posts are not to alienate. They’re to unite.
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I have always accepted there will be questions I don’t know the answers to. I don’t know if that came from a place of honesty from my parents, in that they couldn’t provide me with answers to the hard questions about God (given my dad is a preacher, I assumed if anyone would know it all it would be him). God will provide; He will tell me what He chooses to, and He will be the keeper of all answers.
I think that’s faith - trusting He’s guiding me, but not having to know the when/why/details. It’s why I don’t believe in coincidence. Now I know God works all things for our good, so in my opinion He’s not the bringer of bad.
It’s easy to remain faithful when I see miracles around me daily - not just in my life, but in the stories of those around me. They key to that: looking for miracles.
I don’t believe God is the one who brings difficult things in our lives, but I do believe He can repurpose the trials the devil brings. There is post-traumatic stress and post-traumatic growth. God’s hope for us all is growth. The devil’s hope is for stress.
In that growth comes greater trust and faith that all things, even incredibly dark ones, will bring light. Ultimately all situations can provide a chance to surrender, if you let it.
If repeated trials break your spirit, I’d argue a gratitude practice* will allow you to see the blessings, no matter how small.
*Gratitude practice: regularity in seeking things to be grateful for
I am not insinuating you shouldn’t feel the hard feelings and shouldn’t be realistic. If a family member dies, I don’t want my voice to be there saying, “Look for the gratitudes.” That takes time for it to be a natural instinct. It takes repeated opportunities for post-traumatic growth (a.k.a. trials). I am not attempting to make light of others’ difficult situations. As someone with complex PTSD, every stressful situation I endured became easier to look for the small stuff. I don’t want anyone to have to endure repeated difficulties just to make gratitude a more regular practice. If you start now, it will simply make it sooner that in a stressful situation you look for the positive.
When one of my favorite family members died, my first reaction was overwhelming grief and loss (sadness for myself). But the second reaction was, “Thank you God for not letting her suffer any longer.”
When my dad was diagnosed with cancer next, it was a simple acceptance of - he will be healed if he has more to accomplish in this world, or he will die if his purposes are fulfilled.
Side note: With this acceptance also came a dose of cynicism:
“driven by fear of the future or by anger regarding the past”
(Jennie Allen). I have since addressed this fault. I was in a
period of so much loss in my life, that rather than hope,
which was more scare than I’d like it to be,
I simply surrendered.
I am grateful for those experiences, however, because without them, I wouldn’t have started chipping away at my control freak tendencies. Surrender would have been a dismally distant possibility.
Resources*:
Get Out of Your Head by: Jennie Allen
*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
