Contentment
I’ll begin with this: no single person can make you content. No single item can make you content. No single service can make you content. Contentment is an active choice - active in that it may be a daily decision to be fulfilled. Full stop. Right where you are.
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Why do I always feel like I’m reaching?
Reaching for the next color of top…if I like the blue and it looks great on me, why not get the green?
Reaching for the next promotion…I’m not happy at this level, but I’m sure I’ll be SO much happier with that pay raise, with that increased status, with a greater number of responsibilities.
Reaching for the next piece of workout equipment…when I have the 35# and 53# kettlebell to make most of the workouts satisfied, maybe I’d like the 15# and the 25# as a progressive warm up.
Reaching for the next book…when I already have 50 on my shelf accruing dust.
I’m reaching, because now isn’t good enough. Who I am right in this moment is not who I want to be. But getting the next thing will definitely get me where I want to be.
Or will it?
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During 2020, after hearing of The Minimalists and then watching their documentary, Nick and I immediately went to our closets. Slowly we eliminated all clothes that had not been worn in two years. My car was filled to the brim with trash bags of items that were donated. A couple months later we felt even more confident in removing the items that hadn’t been worn in the last six months. Again, we filled the car with donations.
The next step was finding a sermon series from John Mark Comer on simplicity (a.k.a. minimalism). It became a weekly routine of going to clean out the closets.
We realized we were made to be minimalists. We still live in our first home which is between 1000-1100 square feet. We moved in in 2017, and began the house hunt for the next place by late 2018 unofficially. We were on the market for a new house in 2019 and almost placed an offer. Thankfully, Nick got cold feet.
I decided to implement journaling daily, which began at the request of my therapist. I bought Rachel Cruze’s Contentment Journal as an aid since it had daily prompts. She has some gratitude practice in there - one of which was journaling things you are grateful for about and/or in your home.
Small changes began to happen inside me: I could come home and love turning in the long driveway of my cute home. I loved the intimacy the home created as I’m a quality time person. I loved that we each had our own rooms on top of our bedroom, since there were no children to fill it. I loved that we lived a little further from town, so therefore we had a little under an acre. I loved that we had reclusive neighbors who allow us to have a private backyard as they’re never out. I loved the firepit we bought to sit out and enjoy the cool nights.
All of that started to fall in to place, like a puzzle I didn’t realize had one corner piece missing, primarily because I was so focused on the gap. I didn’t focus on the things that mattered. Instead of seeing what I did have, I saw what I didn’t have.
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I think that’s the key to contentment. No, you will never have everything you want. That’s mainly because we live in a culture that’s designed around always craving more. SO many industries benefit from this consumer culture. Imagine the change that would be made if just one person per week chose contentment over consumerism. While I don’t want anyone to lose their jobs due to these changes, I do think choosing to be content could save marriages, cure addictions, and get people out of debt.
Resources*:
The More of Less by: Joshua Becker
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