Countercultural
For as long as I can remember I’ve had this deep sense of knowing that I would be a conduit for change.
Coming from the woman who had to go to therapy to cope with every life change…it’s another moment I know God has a sense of humor.
When Nick decided we’d move back to KY after I was finished with chiropractic school, I was at first incredibly disappointed. The state laws in FL were so broad I could practice the way I dreamt - in functional medicine. The state laws in KY were antiquated at best. I was told in interview after interview, “Functional medicine can only be a hobby here. You can’t practice that way.”
Then I felt a gentle nudge. “There is a purpose here. You may be swimming upstream for a while, but you will bring change.”
Then I began to realize all my core values were different than the people I worked for. While I wanted to bring change, it actually broke my spirit when I came to the realization they didn’t want to, so that would never happen. I allowed myself to sink to conformity and a resulting depression, and even bitterness, so God quickly scooped me out of there. It was another nudge. “Say your goodbyes. You’ve done all you can. You have greater purposes.”
During 2020 (the first week of shutdown to be precise) I found the work of Brene Brown on wholeheartedness, shame and perfectionism. As I’d already been to therapy once over perfectionism, I realized her research would be important to me. Thankfully I had all the time in the world, or else I wouldn’t have taken the time to watch her documentary.
It opened a whole new world to me - one in which rest time is encouraged, doing things for fun with no purpose, gratitude, and creativity. I used the phrase “swimming upstream” because I couldn’t remember a time when I’d had any of those tenets encouraged. Rest time? I was told to take two seven-day trips a year, specifically so you could see patients up until Wednesday for the week, then get back and have three days of patient hours the following week - so income didn’t dip too much. The only context I’ve seen true rest time in was influencers who travel for a living or people who wanted to make you envious of their vacations.
Fun with no purpose? Everything in our lives is set up to measure productivity, therefore everything should have a purpose.
Gratitude? Are we truly practicing that living in a consumer culture - when we just want more AND want it now? That’s gratitude’s evil sister - scarcity.
Creativity? Unless you do a creative practice for a living, I’d only seen a few people do these things regularly and by the world’s standards, a lot were referred to as “weird.”
Also during 2020, because of the dip in income I started listening to Rachel Cruze’s podcast. She featured The Minimalists, which introduced me to a way of life I didn’t realize was possible. Thinking of consumer culture - I couldn’t remember the last time I was “bored.” Because what did I do before I allowed myself to think the thought, “I’m bored?” I picked up my phone. I wasted time away getting more up to date (on things that didn’t matter). I’ve carried a book with me everywhere from the time I was five. While yes, reading is a great habit; the habit of carrying a book around is so I can check out at a moment’s notice so I don’t reach boredom.
What The Minimalists introduced was the opposite of consumer culture. There were stories of these groups of people who had paid off all their debts by learning to live on $20,000/year - and that was entire families! Most of these stories ended in people retiring once they had enough passive money made through investments that they were able to make the dollar amount they could live off in one year - through the interest they had in these investments.
That got me to thinking: What’s truly important to me? What if I could live a life in pursuit of what is important regardless of whether I make decent money from it, just by decreasing our expenses? Margin is a wonderful thing to have.
…
I’m not naïve enough to suggest change is easy. However, it’s inevitable. You either sink or swim. I don’t know about you, but with my resource kit (mental health focus) I prefer to swim. Even if it feels upstream.
