My Definition of Success
I was asked what my definition of success was five years ago versus what it is now…
My definition of success five years ago:
A 10,000 sq ft home. Being a millionaire. Having a large number of people work under you a.k.a. being responsible for many people. Nice vehicles. Multiple vacations a year including many vacation homes.
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Now in that definition of success there are so many responsibilities. So, challenging myself: if you’re responsible for that many lives, when do you get time for yourself? It’s great you have multiple vacations a year and multiple vacation homes, but when do you get time to take those vacations? If you’re on call and you have to respond to countless emails and texts and phone calls, is that even a vacation?
If I have a beautiful backdrop of the ocean and hear waves crashing steadily in the background, but that’s all drowned out by my ringtone and the many pressing questions that still need answered that day… I’m sorry, but that’s not vacation. That’s paying a lot for a beautiful home and scenery that you don’t get to enjoy.
For me, vacation needs UNPLUGGING. Totally. After I quit, Nick and I took a 10 day vacation to our favorite beach, with dolphins visible from our deck, and yet I couldn’t relax. Why was that? I was still getting messages about appointments I couldn’t take for 10 days. I was getting messages that were unnecessary about former employment status. I received emails about a research project I was helping conduct. I could NOT relax. Work. Work. Work. So I finally shut my phone off. For days. Now, for context, anyone who I thought may NEED to reach me - I gave Nick’s phone number. But I was with the most important person in my life, and I was so wound tight I couldn’t be present with him.
Then and there I decided that when I take vacation my phone will NOT be on me.
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Having that discord accounted for, I could conceptualize my new definition of success.
If having that many people contact me is not what I’m looking for, having multiple people I’m responsible for cannot be in my definition of success. Having myself as the only employee became incredibly attractive.
Not having a large inheritance to rely on, and stepping back in my number of responsibilities - being a millionaire and therefore having a 10,000 sq ft home isn’t attainable.
Having a nice vehicle is attainable, however my definition of nice with where I am right now in life has changed. Nice: it’s been made in the last 15 years, it’s easily and cheaply serviceable, it’s a reliable brand name and can last 10+ years, I don’t have to worry it won’t start on me today, the gas mileage is above 20 mpg, and it can fit my family.
Boiling down the previous definition, my present definition of success:
Working part-time in something you love to do. Putting mental health first. Family being put second after that. Spending your time doing things you love to do/having leisure time daily - even 15 minutes to meditate. Multiple UNPLUGGED vacations per year (8+ days off at a time). Helping others in whatever capacity you choose.
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As a result of this change, my role models are very different than they were five years ago. Thank God for that.
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